Porsche, Poodles, And Pliner’s
By Lee Volpe
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Photography By Chad Spencer
Lee Volpe headshot by H photography
Porsche. It’s a little too small to get laid IN, but you get laid the minute you get OUT.
In 1990, Dudley Moore and Daryl Hannah starred in a comedy film, Crazy People, where Moore’s character, an advertising executive, experiences a nervous breakdown. Designing a series of “truthful” advertisements, blunt and bawdy, he finds his career thriving after spending time in a mental hospital and turning his fellow patient’s into advertising execs. A couple of the ads have remained with me to this day; Porsche was one, the other was Jamaica. If I have you wondering about Jamaica, let’s just say if they were to use an ad like that, tourism would be skyrocketing.
I’m a straight shooter, telling it like it is, so I appreciate honesty. I had the privilege to attend the Suncoast Porsche Macan Launch, on behalf of REAL Exclusive Magazine. Not being a part of the “Porsche Club”, I’m more of a Jaguar / Bugatti girl, but drive a Sonata, I didn’t know what to expect. To be candid, I assumed the “Club” consisted of middle aged men, having mid-life crisis’, what do I know? I kept saying, “PORSH” most the night! For all you Sonata drivers out there, it’s Porsh-UH. It was explained to me that Porsche is a family name, therefore you wouldn’t shorten it.
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I was surprised to find that this “Boy’s Club” has been taken over by women since North American sales began of the Porsche Cayenne, a mid-size luxury crossover, in 2003. Women have continued being the number one buyer and Porsche hasn’t ignored their consumers. For example, models now sport trunk “buttons” instead of handles, so us girls won’t wreck our manicures, and better seat positioning and functions to accommodate our smaller frames.
I enjoyed the atmosphere Suncoast Porsche provided, from food and libations compliments of Chef Paul Mattison and live entertainment provided by The T-Bone Trio featuring George DeJong (past keyboard player for the Herman’s Hermits starring Peter Noone). The scene was set, from the rose centerpieces, to the tiniest of details, nothing was overlooked. In the center of it all was the Porsche Macan, under a pristine white cover until it’s unveiling.
The equal mixture of men and women, as well as the age range was refreshing. However, the event should’ve been called Porsche, Pooches, and Pliner’s! If I could’ve had it my way, I’d add “Pig” to that equation. I have a mini pig as a house pet and I wanted to go home, put a bow tie on “Officer” and bring him to the party. Why not, if a standard poodle could go, why couldn’t my mini pig?!
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I was having this very discussion inside the showroom with Mr. Ed Bertha, when this refined woman approached and said, “Are you talking to me?” Pretending we were going to fight, we joked around instead. I was speaking Italian, (with my hands) when she thought I was pointing at her. Thank goodness she didn’t overhear mention of a pig or this would have been a completely different story.
As I kicked off my very expensive, very high, and equally uncomfortable heels, I noticed other footwear around me. I have got to give it to the guys! It didn’t matter if they were twenty-two or eighty-two, Donald J. Pliner was in the house and looking good; this, coming from the classy, barefoot one.
As the night came to a close, the Macan was a success. The men did what men will do, AND THE WOMEN, did what women will do, therefore, this model is now in high demand. For the best chance at getting one, I’d suggest you call our friends at Suncoast Porsche and good luck. As I drove away in my Sonata, it hit me, “Oh crap, I forgot my shoes!”… said the classy, barefoot one.
From The Sty Of Officer, The Mini Pig…
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Come rain or shine, or both considering it’s Florida, Suncoast Motorsports hosts a monthly get-together for fellow exotic and sports car owners the first Saturday of every month from 8-10am. Open to all makes and models, with provisions provided and Starbucks coffee free of charge, I decided to check it out and this time bring Officer with me.
During June’s Cars and Coffee, I arrived with Officer in tow. My friends at Suncoast Motorsports welcomed us graciously, although they were serving barbecue pork for lunch. More people on the scene were interested in, taking pictures of, and asking questions about the pig that showed up at Porsche, than experiencing the panorama of prime automobiles.
A real “ham”, enjoying all the attention, eating treats, and most importantly, the A/C inside the showroom to chill out, Officer enjoyed his Saturday morning and he will return next month for Cars and Coffee.
Why wouldn’t he? Suncoast Porsche doesn’t discriminate. Even if you’re on the menu, you’re welcome to enjoy the festivities, possibly ride “shotgun” in a 2014 Boxster S Roadster, and “wee, wee, wee” all the way home.
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[5]Do Not try This At Home
Growing up I’ve always heard, “If it’s going to happen, it will happen to Lee.” True as this statement has proven to be, I believe it all happens to ME, so I can share it with YOU.
I was a slow reader, diagnosed with a learning disability, & by the end of third grade it was suggested I be held back. As part of the remedial tutoring I opted for, I was given the task to write a story. Little did I know that assignment would be the genesis of me, the first taste, the moment that changed everything.
Daisy the Cow was the result of my 8 year old imagination. A cow that was beloved by all the neighborhood children until someone gets a puppy & Daisy loses the spotlight.
In finding the WORDS, I found my VOICE…and I haven’t shut up since.
Lee Volpe www.LeeVolpe.com [6]
Copyright © 2014 REAL Exclusive Magazine
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