REAL Exclusive Magazine is a luxury publication focused on the west coast of Florida. It is distributed to affluent consumers. REAL Exclusive Magazine features celebrities, luxury goods, wonderful estate homes and editorial by leading individuals in their respective fields.

Letter From The Publisher Ed Bertha – Blondie’s, Goldie’s & Bertha’s

Blondie’s, Goldie’s and Bertha’s

By Lee Volpe

ReaLee… I leave town for a month, Ed is now a BLONDE, and Elvis is on the cover?!
And there’s more…

In one month, my friend and Editor, has become some sort of, “Man about town.” Every night he’s out with this “pretty” blonde and that “frisky” blonde, dancing till dawn. I’m exhausted just hearing about it. Now he’s training with Val Vasilef, Mr. American (a.k.a. Elvis), and who better to get you into incredible shape?

I am not saying the above mentioned is happening because of Mr. Bertha’s golden locks, and I don’t want to imply anything negative toward my fellow “fair-haired’s” when I point out the “moment’s” have been piling up since his transformation.

For example:

1. Forgetting his phone (first time that’s happened in his whole wireless history)
2. Locking his key in the car, in front of the Police Station, and having to call the locksmith (who has since been added to speed dial)
3. Forgetting his phone (second time)
4. Spending the entire Florida, sunny, summer day at the beach, without applying any sunscreen he brought with him. Occupied with the flaxen bunny on his right, he fried like an egg. Sun poisoning a week later…three weeks now, still peeling.
5. Forgetting his phone (REPEATEDLY!)

I can say from experience, whether you are natural or bottle, “Blonde’s have more fun.” It’s a cross we must bear. Still, before you try to duplicate a page from our dear Editor’s book, and cause a shortage of hair dye on the Suncoast, I suggest you be advised. Not everyone can pull off the essence that comes with being a Blondie, Goldie, or Bertha.

Personally, I myself know not many can shut their entire head in a car door while saying goodbye to a hot guy (with dark hair), look good doing it, and have him find it cute. That takes talent…and Tylenol!

Lee Volpe (for the out there somewhere Ed Bertha)

Photo by Giovanni Lunardi, Hair by Shelia Venancia and Jack Nicholson impersonation by Ed Bertha, enjoy!

Thank You To Our New Sponsors In This Issue:
REAL Exclusive
Chef Paul Mattison, 11, The Oaks Club, 11, Turner Tree and Landscape, 24, SuperBodyBuilder.com, 24, TheWineToBuy.com, 25, Phantom 9 Super Boat Team, 33 Bank of America Home Loans, 25, Purmort & Martin, 33.

REAL Exclusive Properties
Deborah O’Mara/Tom Cinquegrano, Michael Saunders & Company, 9.

DISCLAIMER – Last issue a column titled Porsche, Poodles, and Pliners ran. The editorial views expressed in that article were those of the author and endorsed as humor by REAL Exclusive Magazine. The article’s viewpoint is not that of Suncoast Porsche and REAL regrets any implications the article had for the dealership.

Do Not try This At Home

Growing up I’ve always heard, “If it’s going to happen, it will happen to Lee.” True as this statement has proven to be, I believe it all happens to ME, so I can share it with YOU.

I was a slow reader, diagnosed with a learning disability, & by the end of third grade it was suggested I be held back. As part of the remedial tutoring I opted for, I was given the task to write a story. Little did I know that assignment would be the genesis of me, the first taste, the moment that changed everything.

Daisy the Cow was the result of my 8 year old imagination. A cow that was beloved by all the neighborhood children until someone gets a puppy & Daisy loses the spotlight.

In finding the WORDS, I found my VOICE…and I haven’t shut up since.

Lee Volpe www.LeeVolpe.com